Rockstar and Take Two have announced this morning that there will be a further six month delay in the release of GTA IV. They have confirmed that this delay comes after an internal review of the implications of both the Byron Review and the forthcoming book Grand Theft Childhood.
Take Two spokesman Carl Johnson explains: “We are worried about the very slim chance that someone under the age of 18 sees this game causing immediate irreparable emotional damage. We obviously couldn’t live with this on our conscience.” For Rockstar Frank Tenpenny has his finger on the technical pulse: “It has become obvious that we need to take age verification to a new level, otherwise who knows what horrors we will unleash on society. We will now implement a series of in game strategies that make it impossible for anyone under the age of 18 to play this game”
Meanwhile at Electronic Arts, who will now be the launch publisher of this game, there is much bemusement. According to spokesman Melvin Harris: “We see this as yet another poisoned pill defence to try and prevent our assimilation of TakeTwo. It will fail and when we publish this game we will seek an ESRB Teen rating in the USA and a PEGI 12+ rating in Europe. This will make us more money and help to educate a lot of kids.”
Obviously this delay will be a disappointment for the many fans of the game. But they shouldn’t worry too much. There are plenty of other games they can buy.